20 Life Lessons I've Learned At 20

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Hey lovelies! Apologies again for the lack of consistent posting schedule, things again have been hectic in my personal life so unfortunately opportunities for shooting have been few and far between. However I have a few exciting pieces due to arrive in the post this week (including a certain dreamy jacket that I may have spoken about before) which I cannot wait to style up and share with you all. Thank you to everyone for sticking by me despite my crappy scheduling, one day I will learn haha. So lately I've been seeing a lot of bloggers doing their own versions of the "__ Things I Learnt At __" post and I really enjoy reading them therefore thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and share with you some of the life lessons that I have discovered over the course of my two decades alive on planet Earth.

1. Boys are not the be all and end all of life. This can be applied to any gender/romantic interest obviously but one thing that I have found out the hard way is that BOYS AREN'T THAT IMPORTANT. Looking back on my mindset as a young teenager, it's so clear that I amounted my entire self worth to whether or not I was romantically involved with someone which honestly? Is bullshit. Loving yourself is so much more important than whether Billy from your English class thinks you're cute; if he does then that's awesome but if you're not his type? You're still amazing. I haven't had a boyfriend in about two years and while sometimes I still get the "forever alone" feels I try and remember that that doesn't say anything about me as a person - I just haven't found the right person yet.

2. Fashion is personal and you should always dress for you. I've talked about this point at length in a previous post but growing up has taught me that you shouldn't listen to the opinions of others and that you should always wear what you love and feel yourself in. Though I've never really dressed to conform with a particular group, there have been times when I've shied away from certain items that I love in fear of ridicule or judgement. I don't really know what made me break free of that sort of worry but becoming more confident as I got older definitely has had something to do with it. I now wear exactly what I love and have honestly never felt happier in myself and my style; never be afraid to be yourself.

3. Internet friends are just as valid as real friends. I've always been an internet person; since the age of 11 I've been involved in fandoms and spent hours of my life chatting to other likeminded people online. There's definitely a bit of a stigma around internet friendships but throughout some tough times in my life having someone on the other end of a screen has really helped. Many of my friends who I have met through Twitter have become some of the closest people to me and have offered some of the best advice and most loving support I've ever recieved. 

4. Food is not to be feared. I've spoken before about my experience with both anorexia nervosa and orthorexia and while it has taken a long time, I'm finally beginning to wake up to the fact that food will not hurt me in the way that I think it will. It makes me genuinely angry when I see articles talking about how evil carbohydrates are, or how fruit is "too high in sugar" and should be avoided - these are some of the healthiest foods around, yet people are being deceived into thinking that they're the opposite. The most important thing for a healthy body AND mind is balance; don't let any stupid Daily Mail headline scare you into thinking otherwise.

5. It's better to have a few close friends than a huge group. I have a fairly wide network of acquaintances but if I think about people who I can genuinely call a "best friend", I can probably count them on one hand. And you know what? I'm okay with that. I love my little squad that consists of me, my twin sister and my best friend of 15 years - we can go for drives together and sing the Wicked soundtrack and hang out in Costa for hours and never have to worry about one of us not fitting in the car. I also adore Emily who I met in my first year at uni and who I've had many a heartfelt chat and wild drunken night with. I may not have a massive friendship group but I know that the mates that I do have will be there for life and really that's all that I need.

6. Don't compare yourself to others. This kinda comes back to my earlier point about being yourself, as it's so much easier to own your identity and embrace yourself if you don't compare yourself to others. As a teenager I would constantly compare myself to other girls - models, classmates, even people at school - and it was seriously unhealthy. Just because someone is pretty or talented, it doesn't mean you're less so - the older I've got, the more I have realised this.

7. Positivity is key - but it's okay to be sad sometimes. Recently I've been trying to practice more positive thinking and it really has changed my life but I think that it's important to recognize that it's okay to feel. I find a lot of people bottle up their emotions to the point of them then exploding - it's good to try and be happy, but forcing it is way worse. I've learnt through some of my friends that talking about your problems is /always/ the best option - even if you're worried that you're being a burden, you're really not. Emotions are so valid.

8. Kindness is so important. Similar to the last point, I also believe that it's super important to be kind to everyone you meet even when it may be hard. I only started making an effort to be nicer last year after being inspired by the live action Cinderella to "have courage and be kind" but since I've done so, I feel so much better in myself. Adding a bit of positivity and love to someone's day can be super rewarding.


9. Taking self care time is okay. I'm the sort of person that has to constantly be on the go otherwise I have the tendency to get down and feel super lazy, however too much constant activity can cause me to fizzle out; it's a tough cycle. It's totally alright to take a day just to slob around and watch RuPaul's Drag Race and have a Lush bath - you deserve it.


10. Spontaneous nights out are the best nights out. I've always been the "planner" of the group but university definitely made me realise that sometimes it's fun to accept that last minute plan to hang out and drink some cheap wine with your best friends (even if that plan ends in you singing badly to Drake then peaking too early and passing out in your bed. Ah, memories.)


11. Museums are the greatest. Seriously, nothing makes me calmer and happier than spending a day walking around the V&A be it on my own or with a friend. Beautiful architecture, history AND an amazing cafe? I'm moving in.


12. Spending money on experiences is so much better than material things. I know, ironic coming from a fashion blogger, but I'd much rather save my money to travel or see a show or go to a gig than buy something that I might just get bored of in a few months. 


13. Doing things alone can be fun. I used to be absolutely petrified to leave my house by myself and that would stop me doing /so/ many things that I wanted to do. I never would've thought that I could go to London by myself at least twice a month as I do now and that I would actually enjoy it. You don't always need to rely on other people to go with you to see that movie or exhibition you've been stoked about; sometimes your own company is the best company.


14. Mothers are amazing. I could and probably will write an entire post based on how much my mum means to me; she's the most incredible and inspiring woman in the world in my eyes and I feel so lucky to have her in my life. She's constantly uplifting and looking after me and has been there for me my whole life - I couldn't be more grateful.


15. Your insecurities are probably what others find the most beauty in. I used to not like my eye colour and have spent my entire life envying girls with light blue eyes. However many people have told me that they think my eyes are my best feature - alternatively one of my best friends has always been insecure about having a large chest but I think she has the most amazing figure. It's normal to have parts of yourself that you don't love but just remember that most likely somebody else sees those flaws as the most beautiful thing in the world.


16. Don't do something that is making you unhappy just because you feel like you have to. While my first year of university was an amazing experience, I found myself growing increasingly unsure during my second about whether it was right for me. I eventually decided to drop out due to health reasons and have never felt better about my choice; the uni atmosphere and path wasn't right for me and while it may be harder to get into my chosen industry without a degree, I would rather take that risk than stay doing something that was breaking me down mentally just because it's the socially accepted "right path" to take.


17. Body positivity is so important. Again, I'm still getting to grips with this one but I'm so glad that body posi icons like Isabel Hendrix and Megan Jayne Crabbe exist. I've struggled with poor self image for years and seeing these strong and beautiful women love their bodies no matter what society tells them is so endlessly inspiring and gives me hope that one day I can be the same.


18. Selfies are rad. Seriously; they're the best. I used to feel so weird and narcissistic about posting pictures of myself but I really don't care now. If I'm feeling my look or my eyeliner is on point for once and I want to shout about it, I bloody well will. Sorry not sorry.


19. It's okay to be a geek. We're all nerdy about something, be it a TV show or a video game or even a football team, and there's nothing wrong with that all. Being really into something shows passion and passion is so beautiful - never be afraid to love what you love and represent it. 


20. Don't drunk text your ex. Just don't do it. Ever.


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48 comments

  1. Really enjoyed reading about the lessons you've learned over the years! Great post! xx

    www.victoriaahelenn.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Great list. You seem very in tune with yourself for 20.

    XO.

    Trecee

    Treceefabulous.blogspot.com

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  3. Great lessons, you are very wise!

    besos,
    M
    The Flower Duet

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  4. Hahah I loved reading your list! These are all great things to learn about in your early 20s. Unfortuntly I didn't know about the body positivity one until later in life. I'm glad a lot more younger girls are starting to love their bodies for what they are! Great post <3

    Stacey + thebambieyes.com

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  5. Internet friends ARE real friends and food is never meant to be feared! I couldn't agree more :) Wonderful post sweetheart xx

    Blessings,
    Edye | Http://gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com

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  6. Love this post, Cara! I agree with you, museums are the greatest thing, ever. I feel so relaxed and peaceful at heart when I'm roaming around a museum! x

    www.ashrealasitgets.blogspot.com

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  7. i like this post!! x

    jess x | https://wellwellgirls.blogspot.tw/

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  8. I love your blog and I agree with all your points! I've just tagged you in a '50 things about me' tag if you'd like to check it out! (It's on my blog)
    Have a great day,
    H xx
    http://hberries.blogspot.co.uk/

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  9. Resonate-athon with number 14. I also absolutely LOVE my mum now I'm in my twenties and past the stage of being a miserable teenager!

    Katie xx ¦ La Coco Noire

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  10. You're so cool, omg

    silvervea.blogspot.com

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  11. Love your rules for life ☺ and positivity is definitely the key to happiness
    Nati xx
    www.simplyartdicted.com

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  12. 2,5,8 & 14 = YAS! Some awesome life lessons here, suitable for all ages. :)

    T xx

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  13. Loved this post, very useful! Xx

    https://nikoleannj.blogspot.co.uk/

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  14. I was like a nodding dog on a dashboard reading this, from point one onwards, I was like "This is how I feel too!". Great post lovely x

    VanessaVonJames | Fashion Blog

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  15. Really great post,rally touch my soul
    XOXO FASHIONSOBSESSIONS | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM FOLLOW MY BLOG ON GOOGLE+ AND GOOGLE FRIEND CONNECT

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  16. Such a nice post! I love what you said about being confident in what you're wearing, rather than avoiding certain items in fear of being judged. It's important as fashion bloggers to express our style fully :)

    xoxo
    www.kellylookbook.com | Kelly Lookbook

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  17. great list! lovely post!
    http://adventuremeetsdesigner.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/my-slovenia-diary-and-first-scuba.html

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  18. This was so incredibly honest and true, and really good advice too! I also went through some things you mentioned and I completely agree. Also boys drool man :/

    Zoe xo
    http://delicate--musings.blogspot.co.uk
    //
    (previously m-eliorism.blogspot.com)

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  19. You are so wise for your age! Glad to know that you know how to reflect from everything you've been through!

    xx,
    Jule Avenue
    www.juleavenue.com

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  20. Totally agree with number 9 and 12, great post!

    Lauren Ashleigh xx

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  21. I enjoyed reading this. I agree with most of them. That's the interesting thing about life... you keep learning new things forever.
    I hope you'll have a great weekend!
    Much love,
    Mona

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  22. Completely agree! Especially the 1st one. Boys are not everything. #whorunstheworld. Get your shit together,organize your life, do what you want to do and then, maybe, consider boys ahah. I am turning 24 in two weeks and I am still learning life lessons. but that's great. Learning from my mistakes. great post.

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  23. Loved reading this, i agree with basically everything and its good to be reminded!

    Dana
    www.fashiondew.co.uk

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  24. Couldn't agree more with all of this! I love your insightfulness, and I'm glad to see you back with a post :)

    Kathryn • The Fashionography

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  25. Some of these are super relevant right now, like 10 and 7, and also 11 because it's so easy to forget how insanely interesting they can be.

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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  26. I was nodding my head all throughout reading this but especially when reading #4. I think food is something that has been really warped in our society and we're deeming foods 'good' and 'bad' which is just absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. All that does is make everyone overly conscious and it just creates so many issues for people surrounding what they eat and how much etc.

    www.thesundaymode.blogspot.com.au

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  27. Totally agree with all your points! As a 21 year old people sometimes under estimate how much we know about the world around us, but this just shows we know a lot. Very insightful post, I really love your style of writing - keep it up!xxx
    www.lifewithlorah.blogspot.co.uk

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  28. Love your life lessons I feel like I really relate to basically all of them, especially the positivity is key, it's hard to do and remember but it's so so important! Amazing tips! x

    - Eternalleigh.blogspot.com

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  29. #1,4,5,6, and 8 to the max, though I agree with a lot on this list. I think we all look back on our younger selves and think, "What the hell?"

    Alyse (J.X.L.) | Lumière & Lens

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  30. I love this list, especially numbers 6, 7, 8, 14, 16, 17 & 19 ! :D

    Renee | therenalexis.blogspot.com

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  31. Great post and some surefire ways to survive your 20s feeling a little more content and happy :)

    – Lubna | The Digital Review

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  32. So many lovely ideas here!! I've recently split up from my ex-boyfriend and in the three years we were together, a lot of my self-worth was based on his love and affection towards me. Now we're not together anymore, I really need to start learning to love myself and not base my self worth on if I'm in a relationship or not xx

    Lauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

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