#ENDGIRLHATE - Why Uplifting Other Women (And Yourself) Rules

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Everyday when I'm having a quiet five minutes browsing social media, I like to take time to compliment other girls. Whether it's by commenting on a selfie admiring their makeup or outfit or congratulating them on an achievement they've made, it always makes me feel happy and content to know I've sent out some - even if it's just through a short message - positive vibes into somebody's day. So why do I always take time to do this? Because I believe that girl support and uplifting fellow women is such an important thing.

Society is notoriously hard on women; we all know that. But it shocks me how much of this comes from the act of pitting women against each other. We see countless articles in the media and online every single day - "Who Wore It Best?" polls, stories of fictional catfights and feuds between female costars - that we think nothing of but are actually perpetuating the idea that being a woman is a competition; that we can't co-exist happily, we have to be better than one another and fight and bitch. This leads to the mindset that we should hate on other girls that we feel are prettier or better dressed or more talented than the way we see ourselves - how many times have you heard someone say "she's so thin/beautiful/good at ____, I hate her"? Chances are very frequently, I know that I've been guilty of saying it myself in the past. It's almost like a natural instinct to immediately put down another woman that you see as excelling in an area, and this needs to change.

First of all, we need to remember that just because somebody else may appear amazing and "goals" to you that doesn't mean they see it themselves. You may see someone as being the most talented singer with perfect hair and clear skin but chances are there are things that they feel insecure about; maybe they were teased for the tone of their voice at school or maybe they used to suffer acne when they were growing up. You never know what people struggle with - hell, a lot of models were bullied. If you think somebody is talented at something or pretty, don't use that as an excuse to hate them, instead you should tell them. I used to feel threatened by people who I saw as being more successful than me when it came to blogging. I'd think "what's the point in complimenting their outfit? They've got hundreds of likes, they most know they look amazing, blablabla". I can see now how wrong I was - a genuine compliment means so much more than a number of quick double taps. And even if they've been complimented before, why shouldn't I add another? It's not as if someone can have too much positivity sent their way.

The other important thing to remember in this discussion is just because somebody is beautiful, it does NOT mean that you are less so. One of my favourite quotes is "admire someone's beauty without questioning your own" which is honestly such a good mantra to remember. Comparing yourself to others is so toxic and destructive and honestly feeds my last point; I used to compare myself constantly to others and it took such a knock on my confidence and self worth. But growing up and finding myself and happiness in who I am made me realise that I'm me and being me is great and valid. Sure, I may not look like Gigi Hadid but that's okay. I like being a little short, I like wearing quirky clothes and I like my dark eyes. Gigi is stunning but I'm pretty happy with the way that Cara is too. There are girls out there who can dance, sing and act but I can write. None of those things mean those girls are worth more than me, and vice versa. We're all amazing and magical and special in our own unique ways and instead of comparing ourselves to our fellow women, we should be celebrating each other for our individual talents and personalities.

This topic isn't a new one to be talked about (heck, we've been discussing it for years) and I'm so pleased that supporting other girls has become a huge movement. #Endgirlhate is a massively popular tag across many social media platforms and the rise of the girl gang - groups of women creatives working together as well as helping each other in their individual efforts - has been huge in the past few years. I think we're finally reaching a girl power high point which is so fantastic, yet more can always be done. If you find yourself scrolling down Instagram and seeing someone wearing a super on point outfit don't just keep it to yourself - tell her. Chances are it'll make her entire day.

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65 comments

  1. Great read, thank you for sharing! Yes, of course, we gotta uplift each other :)

    Selftimers Blog | Bloglovin' | Instagram

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  2. love it

    https://www.amandachic.com/
    https://instagram.com/amandachic_official/

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  3. This is such an important post. It's always good to uplift other people and make them feel good. #endgirlhate! Great post :)

    www.leahrachelgoth.blogspot.co.uk

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  4. This is such a wonderful post! I often don't complement people when I really admire something about them because I assume that they must know how amazing they are already, when in reality they're just as un-confident as anyone else ♥
    Amy xx

    Little Moon Dragon

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it Amy, thanks for reading! <3

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  5. Yes, I completely agree! The media alone does enough damage with pitting women against each other and making women feel like they should look and be a certain way. If we were all nice to each other the world would be a brighter place. And I love the quote on admiring someone's beauty without questioning your own, we should all remember that :) what a brilliant post, beautifully written! x

    ♥.•*¨ Amanda Says ¨*•.♥

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  6. I absolutely agree with you! Thank you so much. Everyone should read this

    Liz
    www.raw-shrimp.com

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  7. This is a great post! I agree that everybody has their own set of insecurities and it would be so much better if girls stood up for other girls. We need to stick together x

    www.wildfirecharm.com

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  8. This is so beautifully written, and such an important topic to talk about.
    I think remembering that another woman's beauty does not take away from your own is so, so crucial- both to our relationships with other women, and our relationship with ourselves. x Alona

    gentleconfusion.blogspot.com

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  9. another great post about such an important topic! i love reading these types of posts especially as you write it in a way that is so on point (???). haha sorry i'm not really sure if that makes sense but what i'm trying to say is that your writing is brill and you should write more of these because they are great

    xo Sarah
    Absolutely Sarah

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    Replies
    1. Aw Sarah thank you so much, this comment really made my day! Xx

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  10. couldn't agree more! this post is very inspiring! thanks for sharing
    have a great day
    xx,
    http://evelyn-halim.blogspot.com/

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  11. I agree with everything you said!!! Very well written.
    I also try to take the time to send positive vibes to other women. I believe it is super important to support and raise up other women! It makes for such a more beautiful world, where women have each other's backs.
    Every point you made was excellent!
    Much love,
    Mona

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for reading Mona! <3

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  12. Thank you for this inspiring post! I agree with everything on this post
    xx

    www.sakuranko.com

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  13. Great post! Thank you ♥

    silvervea.blogspot.com

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  14. Couldn't agree more! I always used to see other girls as a 'threat' but now I realise how dumb that was. Another great side effect of being confident is that you appreciate others so much more without toxic feelings like jealousy getting in the way.


    www.miriamwoodburnblog.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. So true! Thanks for reading lovely!

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  15. This is such a beautiful post my dear, I think we all need to learn to love each other and support each other. Have a great day love :) x
    www.ambiinwonderland.com

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  16. I love when women uplift each other! We're so much stronger together than we are apart and even the little things can change a person's whole outlook and make them feel better about themselves. Love your post, love!

    istylelooks.blogspot.com

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  17. I love the way u spread positivity in this post. Very rare of women to do this. I love in congratulating women on small things that make them happy.
    New Post on my blog, do drop by soon ,<3
    ✿thefashionflite
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    Replies
    1. This is such a lovely compliment, thanks so much!

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  18. Great topic! #GIRLPOWER We shouldn't hate on each other but to we support each other!

    XOXO, IF || http://youngbooty.blogspot.co.uk

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  19. This is such a great post! I love your mindset on uplifting others :)

    xoxo
    www.kellylookbook.com

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  20. Love this! I think it's so important to know that other people's beauty doesn't diminish your own. I've had a lot of struggles in my life with low self-esteem and my own image, so this is really refreshing as a topic. Keep on uplifting!
    xo
    N
    Style Tomes ||ST on IG

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  21. Enjoyed reading! Great post!
    http://fetish-tokyo.blogspot.jp/

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  22. YAS. I definitely try to spread the girl love! That quote is something I need to remember, I never get jealous of beautiful women but sometimes it is hard not to compare yourself!

    T xo

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  23. love. empowering each other is what should be done! the worst is when people are advocating for this but they themselves bash other females......... drives me crazy when that happens but great post lovely x

    http://www.fionnac.com

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  24. I totally agree and thanks so much for writing such a fabulous and much needed post!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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  25. Yeess #endgirlhate! It's really great that you compliment others around you as it's really hard for people to do that these days or even genuinely. Great post!

    Stephanie ● Sartorial Diner

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  26. Love this post! It's something I always think about, I love making other people happy like why not compliment people and spread some positivity! There's so many people I see that just seem negative about other peoples happiness and it makes me sad, we should rejoice with others and not make ourselves lower!
    Also I don't know if you've done the tag or want to but I've tagged you in the Liebster Award Nominations tag! The tag is on my blog if you'd like to do it, sorry if you've already done it though! x

    - Eternalleigh.blogspot.com

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  27. Such a nice post!

    Xx,

    || FLOORTJELOVES ||

    www.floortjeloves.com
    www.facebook.com/floortjeloves

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  28. Yessssss! So much love for you for writing this, it's so important! Female empowerment is such a powerful thing, and women who do not support each other in my opinion are not yet women, they are still schoolgirls. Thanks for sharing such a brilliant piece.

    Hayley-Eszti | www.hayleyeszti.com

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  29. I completely agree with everything you said here! I try my hardest everyday to compliment my friends on social media! I think it's important to boost people's confidence but at the same time not question your own, like you said there is no need to hate on other girls because they have something you don't. It's probably likely that you have something they admire too xx

    Thrifty vintage fashion

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  30. Ugh yes SO GOOD. There is this post that goes around tumblr sometimes and I always somehow need to hear it when it does show up: "Just because she is beautiful doesn't mean you aren't." It's always this moment of like oh yeah duh, we aren't actually in competition with each other. We have just been raised to think we are, when everyone is actually awesome in their own way!! It's like so embarrassing that I don't automatically remember that sometimes. Anyways, yes to this.

    xx
    scarlettandgiselle.blogspot.com

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  31. Love this post and I completely agree, I don't know how we ended up in this habit of pulling each other down as women instead of picking one another up.

    I always try now to say the compliments I think in my head out loud to people!

    www.thesundaymode.blogspot.com.au

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  32. Could NOT love this more! Well said. Something we all need to take the time to do.

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  33. Great post!! I enjoyed the read!!
    Xoxo,
    Love from www.trangscorner.com {a lifestyle, fashion, beauty, and food blog}

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  34. I completely agree! It was a great post, I think its a really good thing to compliment and be nice as I know when someone compliments me it makes me feel so much better however I am so fed up with reading magazines constantly shaming people even men now have pressure.

    katielou99.blogspot.co.uk

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  35. You're so right with what you say!! It is so important to compliment others and be kind. I honestly don't know what people get out of hating and being mean to other people. It really is horrible xx

    Lauren | itslaurenvictoria.blogspot.co.uk

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  36. Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks a lot for sharing this post!

    http://lifewithmins.blogspot.com

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  37. Lovely post! It is so true-it is always lovely to get comments no matter how small the comment!

    www.mybeautyandbrownies.blogspot.co.uk

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  38. Love posts like this that talks about VERY important topics! Everyone should stop piting women against women.

    Love, Richel. | Richel Goes Places

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  39. This is SO amazing. Just so true. I definitely think it ties into keeping social media social as well. Have you noticed that? How we just "like" and "favorite" everything? If that. Sometimes we just scroll! It kills me. I want to actually engage with others via social media. And I think sometimes that this animosity or perceived animosity is part of it! There is no reason that we can't be social, friendly, encouraging, and NOT threatened by other confident, pretty, etc. etc. women. I am in an entrepreneurial group, and they use this phrase, "community over competition". How incredible is that?!?! The group focuses on creative trades (usually related to weddings) and people share tips, give feedback, collaborate, etc. It's amazing. They don't think, "OH! If I help him/her they will get in the way of my business." - they bolster each other up. It can be relevant in all areas of life. Thank you for this great reminder. <3 XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  40. Brilliant post, I couldn't agree more. Women and girls should be empowering each other, not putting each other down. What does it even achieve?!

    Empowered women, empower each other.

    "Admire someone's beauty without questioning your own" is an excellent mantra to live by. We all question ourselves daily and in this day and age, truthfully, it's hard not to. But you’re right, it is toxic. I admire you for writing this post, it’s honest and powerful.

    Love Natalie x
    Made In China

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  41. Cara, this is such a beautifully written and thought provoking post! It pains me to see people's self worth depending on degrading others. Making slanderous comments about someone isn't going to make you any more successful. We are all gifted .. but what matters is whether we choose to acknowledge and develop that or to loathe those who have. To appreciate others for who they are we have to appreciate ourselves first.
    Sumeyye
    vintagonista-vintage.blogspot.com.tr

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