#ENDGIRLHATE - Why Uplifting Other Women (And Yourself) Rules03:43
Everyday when I'm having a quiet five minutes browsing social media, I like to take time to compliment other girls. Whether it's by commenting on a selfie admiring their makeup or outfit or congratulating them on an achievement they've made, it always makes me feel happy and content to know I've sent out some - even if it's just through a short message - positive vibes into somebody's day. So why do I always take time to do this? Because I believe that girl support and uplifting fellow women is such an important thing.
Society is notoriously hard on women; we all know that. But it shocks me how much of this comes from the act of pitting women against each other. We see countless articles in the media and online every single day - "Who Wore It Best?" polls, stories of fictional catfights and feuds between female costars - that we think nothing of but are actually perpetuating the idea that being a woman is a competition; that we can't co-exist happily, we have to be better than one another and fight and bitch. This leads to the mindset that we should hate on other girls that we feel are prettier or better dressed or more talented than the way we see ourselves - how many times have you heard someone say "she's so thin/beautiful/good at ____, I hate her"? Chances are very frequently, I know that I've been guilty of saying it myself in the past. It's almost like a natural instinct to immediately put down another woman that you see as excelling in an area, and this needs to change.
First of all, we need to remember that just because somebody else may appear amazing and "goals" to you that doesn't mean they see it themselves. You may see someone as being the most talented singer with perfect hair and clear skin but chances are there are things that they feel insecure about; maybe they were teased for the tone of their voice at school or maybe they used to suffer acne when they were growing up. You never know what people struggle with - hell, a lot of models were bullied. If you think somebody is talented at something or pretty, don't use that as an excuse to hate them, instead you should tell them. I used to feel threatened by people who I saw as being more successful than me when it came to blogging. I'd think "what's the point in complimenting their outfit? They've got hundreds of likes, they most know they look amazing, blablabla". I can see now how wrong I was - a genuine compliment means so much more than a number of quick double taps. And even if they've been complimented before, why shouldn't I add another? It's not as if someone can have too much positivity sent their way.
The other important thing to remember in this discussion is just because somebody is beautiful, it does NOT mean that you are less so. One of my favourite quotes is "admire someone's beauty without questioning your own" which is honestly such a good mantra to remember. Comparing yourself to others is so toxic and destructive and honestly feeds my last point; I used to compare myself constantly to others and it took such a knock on my confidence and self worth. But growing up and finding myself and happiness in who I am made me realise that I'm me and being me is great and valid. Sure, I may not look like Gigi Hadid but that's okay. I like being a little short, I like wearing quirky clothes and I like my dark eyes. Gigi is stunning but I'm pretty happy with the way that Cara is too. There are girls out there who can dance, sing and act but I can write. None of those things mean those girls are worth more than me, and vice versa. We're all amazing and magical and special in our own unique ways and instead of comparing ourselves to our fellow women, we should be celebrating each other for our individual talents and personalities.
This topic isn't a new one to be talked about (heck, we've been discussing it for years) and I'm so pleased that supporting other girls has become a huge movement. #Endgirlhate is a massively popular tag across many social media platforms and the rise of the girl gang - groups of women creatives working together as well as helping each other in their individual efforts - has been huge in the past few years. I think we're finally reaching a girl power high point which is so fantastic, yet more can always be done. If you find yourself scrolling down Instagram and seeing someone wearing a super on point outfit don't just keep it to yourself - tell her. Chances are it'll make her entire day.